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Alex "Coolman" Faciane
Alex Beard
Info
Also Known As The Proof-ist, The Nameless-ist, The Coiliest, Not Blaine's Nephew, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's Nephew, Troy Baker's Nephew, Ronik, Eggman, Shigeru Miyamoto, Inspector Boba Fett
First Appearance - Super Beard Bros. Sonic 3 and Knuckles - Episode 1
First Appearance - The Completionist Complete This! Episode 1: E3 2012 - The Completionist featuring. The Warpzone and Walter Day
Birthday July 14th, 1988
Links Twitter

Super Beard Brothers The Dex


Alexander Louis Faciane, also known as "The Proof-ist", "Professor Kleen", and "Coolman", is a video game journalist, in addition to being the co-host of both Super Beard Brothers, The Dex and The Dex Podcast, the creator of the Mario universe, and Ronik in Big Bad Bosses.  Alex made his debut on The Completionist during Jirard's 2012 E3 video, though he didn't become a regular member until the sixth episode of DLC.  His interests include competitive Pokémon training, Michael Jackson, sushi and Cetacean mating patterns.  

Alex has been known to make massive requests of the community, asking fans to use image editing software to create very specific scenes, to give him money to buy a 72" HD TV, to each send him a copy of "The Lone Ranger" on Blu-ray (Alex's favourite movie), and even to scour through each episode to write down any promises that the Beard Bros. have made and not kept, in an effort to try and keep them.


Alex has a strong belief that segways are bad.

Biography Edit

Alex Faciane is the true creator of the Super Mario Brothers video game series. He in fact is Shigeru Miyamoto: when in school in Japan, he was forced to clean the school. As discussed in Super Sleuth Bros. #15 -The Daughter of Time, Alex moonlights as a detective who can travel through time. Many members of his family have also been revealed throughout the web series including his uncle, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (Super Maker Bros. - Spinning Piranhas #3) and Troy Baker who is known for playing Revolver Ocelot in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. He was confirmed to be a cyborg in Super Maker Bros.- Spooky Scary Skeletons #4.

Meeting JirardEdit

During the Super Metroid Episode "Who needs a grappling hook?" Jirard said that he had met Alex in 2012, at E3, and then later met again at an early screening of Brave, around mid-June, where they had then become friends: they were destined to become the Super Beard Bros.

In his first appearance, Alex crushed Greg's dream saying that Kinect Sports 3 doesn't exist.

According to Alex on a post from TOVG.com, it was actually Michael from Belated Media who had invited Alex and Jirard to the screening, and was the reason the two had become friends.

In The Flute and The Fairy episode of A Link to the Past, Alex once again reinforces that they met at a Brave screening, although they didn't like the movie, as it really didn't feel like a Pixar movie. They did, however, get tacos afterwards, so it was alright.

Memorable QuotesEdit

  • "Speed, Demon!" - A reference the Michael Jackson song of the same name, which Alex kept singing during multiple episodes of Super Beard Bros.
  • "Headin' for the border!"
  • "I gotta drop a dook!"
  • "The Female Whale, the Fe-Whale, if you will... She rolls around, like, trying her best not to have sex with the dude."
  • "The ween is like... is like prehensile, and it like moves around like a snake or a tentacle, and it tries it's best to get in."
  • "Then it finally happens, and no ones happy the whole time. Then they leave and everybody's sad about it."
  • "Honestly if you had a chance to look at it... It's mesmerizing... because of how much NOT like human sex it is."
  • "It's part of being a raconteur."
  • "It's all about the big biscuit risk."
  • "Ladies and Gentlemen... the bullet."
  • "Laaater man."
  • "Yeah, kinda like, bop him and land right in that little Goochy."
  • "The space between two munchers. The Goochy."
  • "Tight boy."
  • "Clean boy."
  • "We're still cops."
  • "#PerfectDicks"
  • "You can do it, You just got to jump over the Triceratops"
  • #FuckTheFireball
  • "My saaaaacrifiice."
  • "Don't count your laters before they're men."
  • "He's not gonna be in Rush Hour 3."
  • "People will watch you to get entertained, because they like the stuff that you do, not because they like that you obey them"
  • "You don't wanna skateboard with a chillidog." (Was also requested on his tombstone)

TriviaEdit

  • In Episode 24 of Castlevania: SotN, it is revealed that he and Greg both have subconscious sexual attractions towards Jirard's college freshman year headshot.
  • One of his favorite Pokémon is Metagross.
  • His favorite Hostess treat is the Honeybun.
  • The first CD he ever bought was by "5ive."
  • Alex's Favorite Pokémon Champion is Cynthia.
  • Alex's favorite Zelda game is Majora's Mask.
  • Alex plays bass in a band called the Squids.
  • Lowkey, Alex is the guy who invented Mario.
  • Alex is Jiro from Jiro Dreams of Sushi.
  • In 1887 Alex created Super Mario Bros.
  • Alex is obsessed with world peace, and everyone recognizes him for that.
  • He is the nephew of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Troy Baker, who voiced Revolver Ocelot.
  • Alex broke the world record for most live squirrels held in a human mouth, holding six at once.
  • Alex is a cyborg. (Vehemently denies this, but isn't that what a cyborg would say?)
  • Alex loves the 2013 Disney summer blockbuster smash-hit "The Lone Ranger" (which actually broke even) starring Johnny Depp as Tonto having not actually watched it and requests Blu-ray copies of the film to be sent in.
  • Alex is in the process of watching Lie to Me, after much pestering from Jirard, however he is not impressed.
  • Alex has good taste in music (not Nickelback).
  • Hanging out with Alex is like the "Uncharted 2 of living."
  • Alex hates his chair in the office, readily making known to the viewers. He has described it as found "alongside Abraham Lincoln's body across from the Ford Theater" or "in an abandoned mansion with the bones of a dead cat on it," as well as other things.[1]
  • Alex is, in fact, Shigeru Miyamoto.
  • Alex never tells a lie.
  • Alex hates Kingdom Hearts.
  • Alex once said on a Super Couch Fighters Periscope stream that Dragon Ball Z Boudokai 3 is shit.
  • Alex is the host of a prank television show with the catchphrase "You got Bros'd." [2]
  • It was also confirmed by PokeKellz in 2016 that Alex is in fact a lion. While Jirard is a bear.
  • Alex revealed in Multiplayer Mayhem Season 3, with Jesse Cox and Jirard, that he tosses Mike and Ikes behind himself when leaving the bathroom to prevent being followed by a shit witch.
  • Alex's full name is Alexander Crush 40 Faciane. [3]
  • It is believed that Alex has only one testicle. This was mentioned and then quickly brushed off as a joke by Alex in the episode Final Fantasy XV: A Crushing Story Let's Play #18 - Fraternal Friendship.
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